F3 A man can find plenty of friends his own age. What most men are missing is something different and harder to come by: an older man, a step ahead of him, willing to sharpen him. F3’s field manual says that relationship is not a luxury.
Why does a man need sharpening at all?
F3 uses a simple image: a man is like a knife. Both are made to cut, and neither is any good until it is sharpened. An unsharpened man is dull and sluggish, a weak leader and badly prepared for the obstacles life will throw at him. To sharpen a blade you need a whetstone, a hard surface to grind against. F3 says a man needs the same thing: an older man who acts as the stone to his blade. It is worth being honest about what grinding against that stone actually feels like.
What does that relationship actually look like?
It is honest and a little uncomfortable, on purpose. F3 says the older man’s job is hard looks and straight talk, tempered by love. That cannot be done from a distance or over text. The two men have to meet face to face, look each other in the eye, and get to real things. And it is not a hangout. It has a point: to help the younger man get ready for what life will demand of him. The older man is not there to be liked. He is there to make the younger man sharper. So how does a man set up a relationship like that and keep it going?
How does a man make it work?
F3 gives three requirements. It has to be near, meaning the two men physically meet, not just call. It has to have purpose, a real aim rather than a pizza party. And it has to be regular, so it keeps happening. Here is the part men miss: you do not wait until you are old and wise to start. A man can be sharpening a younger man even while an older man is still sharpening him. Every man should have a stone above him and be a stone to someone below.
F3 calls this the Whetstone, part of getting right in the F3 Nation Q-Source, the field manual for virtuous leadership that F3 is built on. Read the full teaching: f3nation.com/whetstone. F3 Denver is where men practice it. Find a workout.